"Gabriel" initially began counseling sessions with a marital therapist at the insistence of his fiancée, Melanie, because of problems they were experiencing in their relationship. Gabriel was extremely resistant to going to the therapist, but Melanie warned him that she would not continue the relationship unless he went with her to try to resolve some issues before they were married. Gabriel insisted that there was nothing wrong that they couldn't work through themselves and that it was humiliating talking about their personal lives in front of someone else. After three sessions, Gabriel refused to go to the therapist anymore, which resulted in a major fight with Melanie the evening of the scheduled session, as well as a series of arguments for the next several weeks. Finally, Melanie broke off the engagement and the relationship altogether, saying that she simply couldn't marry Gabriel with things the way they were.

Gabriel was so upset by the break up that he began drinking heavily and started smoking again, which he had given up three years ago after becoming involved with Melanie. He also began experiencing fits of anger at work and getting into arguments with his coworkers, prompting several warnings from his superiors. After unsuccessfully attempting to convince Melanie to give him another chance, Gabriel experienced a period of depression that lasted about a month. Finally, he decided to see a psychologist to prevent any more damage to his professional standing. In addition to the fights, he had been late to work three or four times during the month since his break up with Melanie.

In the initial interview, Gabriel told the new psychologist that the conflicts with Melanie began within the first month after they started seeing each other. They had met late at night at a 24-hour restaurant where Melanie was a part-time waitress working her way through college. Gabriel, a police officer, went to the restaurant on break and Melanie caught his eye instantly as she was waiting on tables across the room. He thought she was a knock-out and began taking all of his breaks at that restaurant so he could look for an opportunity to ask her out. They became intensely involved in a very short time and spent almost all of the little free time they had available with each other.

Gabriel quickly became very possessive of Melanie and told her he didn't want her to "flirt" with the male customers anymore. He said he also wanted her to lengthen the hemline on her uniform and to button her blouse all the way up to discourage any interest by other males. For the most part, Melanie had been very compliant with Gabriel's demands to change her appearance, including demands to change her casual dress. He also began to insist that she spend less and less time with her female friends, even when she had time available and he had to work. The conflicts started when he began derogating her friends because he felt that they were running around to bars and other places where Melanie's friends could meet men. Eventually, Melanie stopped going out with her friends completely, a change which substantially reduced their conflicts for awhile.

However, arguments began again when Gabriel worked past the normal hours of his shift to finish up paper work and didn't call her to let her know he would be late. Gabriel insisted that these were times that they had not planned anything in particular, but during a later therapy session he acknowledged that they typically spent time together after he got off work. He also acknowledged that a number of times he went out with some of his coworkers for a beer after their shift was over.

The conflict in their relationship intensified dramatically when Melanie had been accepted into nursing school and began devoting even more time to her studies. After about a year, Gabriel had tried to convince Melanie to marry him, give up school, and stay at home to have their children. She agreed after awhile to marry him, but insisted that she would continue with school and have a profession of her own outside of the home. Following a number of heated arguments about her future plans and her role as a traditional housewife and mother, Melanie had insisted that they see a marriage counselor. He had gotten so angry at one point that he grabbed her by her arms and shook her. He felt guilty about that incident and about the times he had yelled at her, all of which led him to finally agree to see the marriage counselor with her. However, Gabriel really did not believe that some outsider would be able to help them resolve their differences concerning their lifestyle after they were married and he quickly became disillusioned with the sessions.

Gabriel was the youngest of four children, whose father was a sales representative for an industrial equipment company and whose mother had worked at a number of jobs off and on throughout their marriage. His brother, who was five years older, was a corporate lawyer and had played football in college. His older sister had obtained a degree in accounting and had already established herself as a senior accountant in a finance company. The younger of his two sisters had completed two years of college but never obtained a degree, since she got married and had her first child soon after. All of his siblings were married and had children of various ages.

Gabriel described his relationship with his father as typical and he said he had great respect for him both professionally and as a father. His father would occasionally play football and other games with him and his brother while they were growing up, but the time they spent together became less frequent as his work demanded more of his time. He remembers his father as a very strong and "no nonsense" type of man who expected his children to be very disciplined and to excel in everything. His father wasn't very expressive emotionally, but when Gabriel or his siblings had misbehaved or failed at something his father's disapproval was painful and intense. He described his mother as a very warm and caring woman, who always kept the house immaculate and who always had time for them. However, he said that she could often be very emotional about things that would go wrong and she always seemed to worry and obsess too much over him and his brother and sisters. He couldn't ever remember his parents fighting, or even disagreeing for that matter, which he said may have been due to the fact that his father was very strong-willed and a man who never tolerated disagreement with his opinions or his way of doing things.

Gabriel said that his break up with Melanie bothered him, not only because he felt that he had truly loved her and he had really wanted to get married, but also because he was afraid that he would never meet anyone who would match his standards and expectations. He said he felt that he was really a very attractive guy who had a lot to offer a woman. But, he said he had dated quite a few women in his lifetime and he would either lose interest in them because they weren't what he expected or because they weren't attentive enough or because the two of them would end up fighting all the time. He said he guessed he was looking for the "perfect woman" and he probably wouldn't ever find someone that was just right for him.