Definition of Domestic Violence/Spousal Abuse

Domestic Violence is de= fined as:

· &= nbsp; An= y coercive, intimidating behavior de= signed to establish and maintain dominance and control over another.

· &= nbsp; An= y pattern of behavior that is recurr= ent and escalating in frequency and severity

· &= nbsp; An= y physical sexual or psychological h= arm attempted or caused to another family member and includes:

o &= nbsp; Assault/Sexual Assault

o &= nbsp; Threatening

o &= nbsp; Harassment/Intimidation

o &= nbsp; Forcible Confinement

Domestic Violence General Information for Men/Women

Domestic violence happe= ns to all kinds of people, regardless of their social or economic status. Rich or poor, young or old, Asian or North American, straight or gay, domestic viol= ence affects people from all walks of life. Domestic violence happens because an individual chooses to use violence to resolve conflicts or to control other members of their family. Contributing factors are societal attitudes toward women and violence in general feelings of low self-esteem, poor communicati= on and self-control skills, and a tendency to blame others.

Many men/women do not r= ealize that:

· = They have been abused

· = Domestic violence is a crime

· = Violence is not an intrinsic part o= f any culture

· = No one has the right to abuse anyon= e

· = Help is available for both victims = and abusers

For mothers involved in= an abusive relationship, it is important to be aware of the impact violence can have on their children. Some children may become abusive in later life, oth= ers may come to believe abusive or violent relationships are normal.

If you are unhappy beca= use of violence in the home, but don't know what you can do to solve or improve the situation, the materials here may be of help to you. Please click one of the following options to go to the area of your interest.

The information provide= d in this site is meant as a starting point for men/women concerned about abuse = in their family. For more specific information about your particular situation, please consult a social service agency or a lawyer.

What is spousal abuse?=

Spousal abuse is any ve= rbal threat or physical force used to create fear and control what a man/woman d= oes.

With all abuse, the abu= ser has more power than the victim. The abuser is always the one responsible for his or her behavior. Abusers often use alcohol as an excuse. But the real c= ause is their need to use violence to control another person.

What forms does spousal= abuse take?

A man/woman can be abus= ed in different ways. Following are just some examples:

Physical abuse

· &= nbsp; Slapping or biting, or pulling hair

· &= nbsp; De= stroying their personal property

· &= nbsp; Ab= using their loved ones, pets

· &= nbsp; Us= ing a weapon or other objects to threa= ten, hurt or kill.

Psychological or emotio= nal abuse

Threats

· &= nbsp; Th= reatening to take the children away <= /p>

· &= nbsp; Th= reatening to institutionalize the individual=

· &= nbsp; Th= reatening to tell friends, family and their employer that she is a lesbian or he is gay

· &= nbsp; Th= reatening to commit suicide

· &= nbsp; Th= reatening to withdraw immigration sponsorshi= p, or have him/her deported

· &= nbsp; Stalking or harassing him/her

Control

· &= nbsp; Co= ntrolling his/her time, activities, and frie= nds

· &= nbsp; Putting limits on who = he/she can visit or talk to on the phone

· &= nbsp; Ke= eping him/her away from friends and rela= tives. This is also called "isolation"

· &= nbsp; No= t respecting his/her privacy or boun= daries

· &= nbsp; Denying sex, affection= or personal care

Verbal abuse

· &= nbsp; Pu= tting him/her down and calling names all= the time

· &= nbsp; De= scribing him/her as stupid, crazy or irrati= onal

· &= nbsp; Ac= cusing him/her of cheating

· &= nbsp; At= tacking his/her self-esteem in other ways =

Sexual abuse

· &= nbsp; To= uching or acting sexual in any way that h= e/she doesn't want

· &= nbsp; Forcing or pressuring him/her into sexual acts

· &= nbsp; Fo= rcing him/her to be a prostitute =

· &= nbsp; No= t letting him/her have information a= nd education about sexuality

· &= nbsp; Fo= rcing her to get pregnant, have an abort= ion, or have an operation so she can't have children

· &= nbsp; In= fecting him/her with HIV or other sexually transmitted diseases

Neglect and isolation

· &= nbsp; No= t letting a man/woman see a doctor or dentist

· &= nbsp; Ta= king away TTY, hearing aids or a guide = dog

Financial abuse or exploitation

· &= nbsp; Co= ntrolling how he/she spends money, where the= y work and what property they buy

· &= nbsp; Sp= ending all family income including his/her money or savings

· &= nbsp; Us= ing credit cards without his/her permi= ssion; destroying his/her credit rating

Spiritual abuse<= /p>

· &= nbsp; Putting down or attack= ing a man’s/woman's spiritual beliefs

· &= nbsp; No= t allowing him/her to attend the chu= rch, synagogue or temple of their choice

· &= nbsp; Fo= rcing him/her to join or stay in a cult =

Cr= iminal Harassment

The law against Criminal Harassment is commonly known as the "stalking law", but in fact, = the offense includes many other behaviors. According to the Police Handbook on Domestic Violence, the purpose behind making Criminal Harassment an offense= was to prevent an escalating cycle of violent behavior that occurs over a perio= d of time.

Examples of harassing behavior include:

· &= nbsp; Hang up phone calls

· &= nbsp; Persistent phone calls/messages

· &= nbsp; Unsolicited contact

· &= nbsp; Threatening letters

· &= nbsp; Unwanted parcels, flow= ers or gifts

· &= nbsp; Damage to property

· &= nbsp; Fo= llowing from place to place

Even though these behav= iors do not cause physical damage to a person, they are considered a crime becau= se the victim often feels a loss of control over his/her life. Criminal harass= ment also includes behaviors aimed at the victim's friends or family.

Harassment includes one= or more of the following:

· &= nbsp; Repeated following of = the victim or a person known to the victim

· &= nbsp; Repeated communication (directly or indirectly) with the victim

· &= nbsp; Watching or besetting = any place the victim may be

· &= nbsp; Threatening conduct to= wards the victim or any member of the victim's family

Child Ab= use

= What is Child Abuse? Generally, child abuse is divided into four types:

1. <= span style=3D'font-family:Arial;color:black'>Neglect

2. <= span style=3D'font-family:Arial;color:black'>Physical Abuse

3. <= span style=3D'font-family:Arial;color:black'>Sexual Abuse

4. <= span style=3D'font-family:Arial;color:black'>Emotional Abuse =

Neglect

Neglect is when a parent/caregiver does not provide for the ba= sic emotional and physical needs of the child on an ongoing basis. Examples of neglect include not providing the proper:

· &= nbsp; Food

· &= nbsp; Safe surroundings

· &= nbsp; Education

· &= nbsp; Clothing

· &= nbsp; Housing

· &= nbsp; Personal care

· &= nbsp; Supervision

· &= nbsp; Medical and emotional care

= Children who are neglected physically and emotionally may not develop normally. Some children may suffer permanent damage.

= Physical Abuse

= Physical abuse includes anything a parent/caregiver does that results in physical ha= rm to a child. Physical abuse may happen if a child is punished harshly, even though the parent/caregiver may not have meant to hurt the child.

= Examples of physical abuse include:

· &= nbsp; Bruises

· &= nbsp; Burns

· &= nbsp; Female genital mutilat= ion

· &= nbsp; Marks in the shape of objects or hand prints

· &= nbsp; Human bite marks

· &= nbsp; Shaking

· &= nbsp; Fractures of the skull, arms, legs and ribs

= Physical abuse may result in a minor injury (such as a bruise) to a more serious inj= ury which could cause lasting damage or death (for example from shaking a child= ).

= Sexual Abuse

= Sexual abuse occurs when a person uses power over a child, and involves the child = in any sexual act. This abuser is more powerful because of age, intelligence, physical strength, control over the child, and the child's need to be taken care of by others. The offender gets the child to participate by using thre= ats, bribes, lying and taking advantage of the child's trust.

= Sexual abuse includes involving the child in acts such as:

· &= nbsp; Fondling (touching the child in a sexual wa= y)

· &= nbsp; Getting the child to touch the adult inappropriately

· &= nbsp; Oral sex

· &= nbsp; Inserting fingers, penis, or objects in the vagina or anus

· &= nbsp; Exposing oneself

· &= nbsp; Allowing a child to watch pornography =

· &= nbsp; Involving a child in pornography or prostitu= tion.

Most sexual offenders are people the children know.

Emotional Abuse

A parent/caregiver who continually uses any of the following w= hen interacting or disciplining a child is emotionally abusing the child. =

· &= nbsp; Rejecting (e.g., saying "I wish you were never born")

· &= nbsp; Criticizing (e.g., saying "Why can't you do anything right?")

· &= nbsp; Insulting (e.g., saying "I can't believe you would be so stupid")

· &= nbsp; Humiliating (e.g., embarrassing a child in front of other people)

· &= nbsp; Isolating (e.g., not allowing a child to play with friends)

· &= nbsp; Terrorizing (e.g., scaring a child by saying "The police will come and take you away")

· &= nbsp; Corrupting (e.g., always swearing in front of the child, or getting the child to participate in things against the law)

· &= nbsp; Not responding emotionally

· &= nbsp; Punishing a child for exploring the environm= ent

Children who witness violence= in their home may suffer emotional damage watching a loved one being physicall= y or verbally attacked.

Help and support on your journey towards a life free of violence and fear.

Options

Without intervention, domestic violence will most likely escalate with time. This is why it is important to seek help as early as possible. If you are mother, it is especially important to consider protecting your children, as the effects of abuse and witnessing violence are tremendous. Children can be seriously traumatized for life or even killed as a result of domestic violence.

Abusive men/women may apologize and promise it will never happen again. However, it is common for abusers to repeat the cycle of violent behavior, with increasing severity. = This repetitive cycle is a typical case of domestic violence. You may come to believe that you are responsible for the abuser's anger or behavior. You are not. The abuser is responsible for his/her own actions.

Materials provided here= are intended as general information only. If you would like to have details regarding your particular situation, please consult a social service agency= or a lawyer.

&m= iddot; &= nbsp;

You can call police and= /or social service agency anytime at any point.

· = Call 911

911<= span style=3D'font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Symbol;color:black'>

911 is the number to ca= ll in an emergency such as a severe argument which may involve physical violence.= 911 responds to your call 24 hours a day by dispatch= ing police, ambulance and/or fire services."

Teach your children abo= ut 911 and how to call. In the event that you are unable to call for help, your children may be able to take action. (However, please make sure your childr= en understand what constitutes an emergency.)

Role of Police

Once 911 is called, police officers are responsible for ensuring the victim's medical n= eeds are addressed and the victim is safe from immediate harm. They will then separately interview the people involved

If enough evidence exis= ts to show that violence has taken place, the abuser will be arrested and the POL= ICE OFFICERS will charge the abuser.

&n= bsp;

·= ; &= nbsp; Leave Home/Shelter

&n= bsp; You can choose to leave the home where the abusive partner

&n= bsp; stays. If you have no place to stay, emergency shelters can

&n= bsp; provide you with food, clothing, and counse= ling, housing service

&n= bsp; and legal advice service, depending on the shelt= er.

YMCA
Contact Social Agency

Restraining Order

It is a court order that legally tells your partner to stay aw= ay from you. It is enforceable by police.

Local police and lawyers can help you with issuing the restrai= ning order,

Battery

Legal definition: what battery is

Legal aid
Police; links to federal, state and local law enforcement
Doctors and emergency personnel

Victim assistance:

A. Shelters

Medical assistance

a) Hospital procedure

b) Counseling options (i.e. support organizations/groups, hotlines, hospital and APA)

C. Information for family members,

D. Self defense

Offender assistance:

A. Support organizations/groups, family member information and support. *Most convicted batterers are court ordered= to therapy and other behavior modifying programs.

Social impact:

A. Discussion of traditional views towa= rds domestic violence and spousal battery

B. = Discussion of ethnic and cultural variations of perception. *List of specific ethnic and cultural (national; local if available) organizations.

Lead to break down (top to bottom, or bottom to= top) social à commun= ity à family à individual impacts of battery

a)= Victimology; brief, bare = bones and John Q. Public friendly

b)= Warning signs: for victims and offenders (if time allows)

c)= Stats: national numbers. Likelihood of children growing up to be batterers or vict= ims, male vs. female

d)= Information for children

e)= Writings by victims and offenders (if available)

f)= Memorial statement to honor those men, w= omen and children who have died due to battery.

Home

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